IT'S COMPLICATED

 

You know when something happens to you and you ignore it,

then it happens again and you ignore it again and yet again?

Then by the time you realize you need to give it a heads up you are up against a deadline, or right in the middle of a big project you really want to finish, or you want to get through the holidays then  you will relax and breathe and pay attention. 

In the meantime, the thing you have been ignoring has been building up and growing until, right in the middle of your project, or a day before your deadline, or the morning of the most excellent Christmas in years...what if you woke up "THAT" morning and realized you should have paid attention sooner, you should have seen the signs, you should have listened to your inner voice, you should have sensed, somehow, as the days, weeks, months slipped by that each incident was a warning that something serious was wrong. 

So now here you sit, all alone at midnight, hooked up to IV's full of stuff you hope will make it go away and you wonder again, after two days of wondering, what it is and what caused it.  Was it laziness and neglect or just plain stupidity for seeing it sooner...but...

... AT THE END OF THE DAY...you know it doesn't matter...you've finally turned the corner toward recovery and you are grateful...and from now on you'll pay attention.

PS...Thank you to all my family for taking lots of pictures for me of Adyson' s first Christmas.