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Monday, December 31, 2012

1 PILL...2 PILLS...RED PILL...BLUE PILLS

I've always been a list maker.  It keeps my life in order so I don't  go off on a tangent, losing track of time, and getting nothing done.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. 

My question now is... how in the @#$%& do people who take a dozen medications ever get it straight and ever get anything else done?

I'm only taking a few and I need a logistics expert to keep track of which to take with food, which to take with a full bottle of water, which foods to avoid within two hours either side one medication and which don't play well with others if you take them too close together.

I am so happy all this is only temporary and it certainly gives me incentive to stay healthy.  What I've also learned from this experience is...

AT THE END OF THE DAY...getting old is not for wimps.
 








Sunday, December 30, 2012

IT'S COMPLICATED


You know when something happens to you and you ignore it,
then it happens again and you ignore it again and yet again?

Then by the time you realize you need to give it a heads up you are up against a deadline, or right in the middle of a big project you really want to finish, or you want to get through the holidays then  you will relax and breathe and pay attention. 

In the meantime, the thing you have been ignoring has been building up and growing until, right in the middle of your project, or a day before your deadline, or the morning of the most excellent Christmas in years...what if you woke up "THAT" morning and realized you should have paid attention sooner, you should have seen the signs, you should have listened to your inner voice, you should have sensed, somehow, as the days, weeks, months slipped by that each incident was a warning that something serious was wrong. 

So now here you sit, all alone at midnight, hooked up to IV's full of stuff you hope will make it go away and you wonder again, after two days of wondering, what it is and what caused it.  Was it laziness and neglect or just plain stupidity for seeing it sooner...but...

... AT THE END OF THE DAY...you know it doesn't matter...you've finally turned the corner toward recovery and you are grateful...and from now on you'll pay attention.

PS...Thank you to all my family for taking lots of pictures for me of Adyson' s first Christmas.
 











Thursday, November 22, 2012

THANKSGIVING




No matter the twists and turns that brought you to where you are today...

Thanksgiving should not to be taken lightly
it should be taken with turkey and dressing
and cranberry sauce
and a loosened button over a full belly

Thanksgiving should not to be taken lightly
it should be taken with good conversation
a game of football...
and a large piece of pumpkin pie

Thanksgiving should not to be taken lightly
it should be taken with people we love
giving thanks for our blessings...
and gratitude that it only comes once a year

AT THE END OF THE DAY...I am grateful for my family and friends...happy Thanksgiving everybody. 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

SETTLING IN



Today is our 46th wedding anniversary.

Living with someone is never easy but living with someone (even after over 40 years of practice) who has retired is like starting all over again with a stranger.

The conundrum has been how do I keep the freedom of my own timeline with a new 'stay-at-home' husband with no schedule,
get used to the noise after the quiet I was used to when the house was empty all day, and still enjoy more together time, all without going crazy.

We are adjusting but like any new experience there is a learning curve with good days and bad days.  On the good days I offer up a prayer of gratitude for the man I married 46 years ago. 

On the bad days when my 'to do' list (or my 'want-to-do' list) gets put on hold because there is a conflict of interest, I take a deep breath and remember something I learned once on a solitary vacation.   


My camp spot was at the top of a long hill with a path going down to the beach.  Walking back up to the camper after my first trip down to the water I found the trail, coming back up, steeper than I realized as I was going down.  Half way up the trail my hips reminded me of the pain I would feel later from my walk and two things came to my mind. 

The first i learned in tai chi.  In tai chi you never lock your joints, you keep them loose,  and you never take all your weight off of one leg before you are balanced on the other...balance and flexibility are the key. 

The second I learned in yoga. In yoga the more you resist a pose the harder and more painful it is.  You learn to find your edge then let go and relax...strength comes with acceptance.    

I kept both lessons in mind as I finished climbing the hill. By the time I reached the top I knew I would be able to enjoy the rest of my vacation as I felt an easing and a loosening in my hips.   

I need balance, flexibility, and strength in my life as well.  Acceptance gives me all three.

AT THE END OF THE DAY...When I quit resisting what is, I can change what will be. 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

HALLOWEEN CATS AREN'T ALWAYS BLACK



...thought I'd share a true story about something that happened to me about 25 years ago during the witching season...

 Our house back then was on a dead end street with nothing but a strip of wild tangled bushes and trees separating the backyard from a busy highway.  The band of untamed brush hid the road and muffled the traffic noise and provided an ever-changing view outside my kitchen window.  There were wild flowers in the spring and summer, color-bright leaves in the fall, and a huge boulder just at the edge of the tree line where the neighborhood cats dozed in the sun or pounced down on unsuspecting mice and birds.  The rock was also a good place to take a book and idle away a summer afternoon. 


One bright fall day, right around Halloween, I was washing dishes and staring out the window when I noticed a white cat with long, dirty, shaggy fur and strange green eyes sitting on the boulder watching  me through the window.  I didn't recognize it as a neighborhood cat and even though it looked like a cat I used to have I knew it wasn't mine...I remember vividly the night my cat died.  

Some weeks previously I woke up in the middle of the night with a vague feeling of unease.  I had been reading before I fell asleep and my book was resting face down on my chest, so I closed it, put it on the head of the bed, and reached to turn off the light when I heard a noise.  It was a soft steady pounding sound and seemed to be coming from the back yard.  I got up, slid on my robe and slippers, and quietly followed the sound down the hall to the kitchen window. 

A full moon cast a soft light in the backyard, silhouetting someone  beside the boulder striking the ground with a pick in slow steady rhythm.  My eyes and my head were still clouded with sleep so the scene before me unfolded as if in slow motion making me unsure if I was awake or dreaming.  Then the pounding stopped and the silhouetted figure picked up something white off the rock and laid it in the hole hacked out with the pick. 

I watched, still feeling detached, as the dark figure covered the hole with dirt then stood up and lifted his head so his features were illuminated in the moonlight.  I could see tears streaming down his face...it was my son.   
Coming home late, he found our cat at the end of the street.  It had been hit by a car and was dead.  He didn't want to leave it there until morning so he brought it home and buried it in the backyard under the trees beside the rock.
 




 The strange shaggy white cat that showed up several weeks later only stayed around a couple of days but the surreal events of that night stayed with me and  "Pet Cemetery" by Stephen King, the book I was reading when I fell asleep, was the last book of its kind I ever read.

AT THE END OF THE DAY...Happy Halloween, everybody...

Sunday, October 14, 2012

SUMMER'S OVER

Dave and I went to see Ady yesterday...the little ray of sunshine in our lives.  So hard to believe she is 6 months old already.


Finished my project from the class I took three weekends ago at The Ranch called "Baskets, Books and Shrines " with instructor Jo Stealey.  



Summer is over and the days are getting shorter.  It's dark in the mornings now when I get up and today it finally rained enough to settle the dust and leave the air fresh and clean smelling.   

AT THE END OF THE DAY...time put on the soup and settle in for the rainy season.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

IT'S BEEN HOW LONG?

IN THE BEGINNING

My 1st year BLOG Anniversary Date (October 21) is rapidly approaching.  It's hard to believe it's been a whole year.  I'm still working on finding the time (and the words) to post more often.

My self imposed year of staying close to home is also drawing to an end and I am looking forward to becoming more involved in the art community again after the first of the year although there is still the rest of this year to get through and  the holidays are coming up much too fast. 

Once the weather turns cold and rainy and we can't work outside (which should be any day now) we will begin the inside finish work on the studio.  I'm already looking at colors and lighting and layout and I started a notebook with pictures and lists of what I need and things I want.

LISTEN TO THE WIND

My art is changing just like my life is changing and having this new studio is a good time to make a transition so I am also sorting my art supplies and my old artwork deciding what I am going to keep and what I am going to get rid of.   

I'm thinking about putting some of my older art on my blog to sell...like these three...if anyone might be interested let me know.  Time to test the waters.


AT THE END OF THE DAY...out with the old and in with the new.

BEACH FEET

Friday, September 14, 2012

CHANGE OF VIEW



The weather is looking more and more like fall each day in spite of the hot afternoons.  Nyna bought apples on the way back from her honeymoon so we spent a rare day together putting them in the freezer for applesauce and pies. 

The painter is nearly finished with the house, the garage and the studio and as soon as that is done, we will have the new gutters installed.  The new garage doors went in today. 

My most wonderful great-granddaughter is almost crawling already and started her first day at daycare this week.  Time sure flies doesn't it.


I love the warm days and cool evenings, in fact, I think it's almost time to put on the flannel sheets and take out the crock-pot.  Fall is my favorite season.

Yet... AT THE END OF THE DAY...considering the view from my new studio's window...I'm also looking forward to winter this year.  

Sunday, September 2, 2012

THIS ONE'S A KEEPER



The weather was perfect.  The ceremony was lovely.  My daughter and her new husband are on their honeymoon.

I think she would agree that the best things in life sometimes sneak in when you are not looking.  


Congratulations...may your new life be long and blessed.

AT THE END OF THE DAY..."What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life."

Friday, August 31, 2012

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

 Tomorrow is September 1st and my daughter is getting married. 

 I started out this year knowing it would be a year of changes. 
 
  Some I knew were coming and some have taken me by surprise...and the year isn't over yet.   



My intention this year of releasing my expectations for perfection has helped me accept each day with calm and i hope with grace.




 
 I have learned that even setbacks should be looked on as challenges rather than roadblocks and that all things are possible if I believe they are possible and I will never be too old to dream. 

  

AT THE END OF THE DAY...don't die wondering...ACT AS IF...

WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN

i was young once
and pretty too in an understated plain sort of  way
and smart
well maybe street wise and sassy
all right all right mouthy was more my style

but i was young and i had my dreams
i was going places
to Europe
to the Oscars
to the moon
straight to hell some said

somehow i got lost along  the way
and when i got found i was old
with life's lessons etched across my face
and written in silver through my hair
my foot no longer so quick to enter my mouth

then i found my dreams
not lost not forgotten
just stained and tarnished
stuffed deep in my pocket
so i took them out
and dusted them off
and started again
and never looked  back
    ~FK~

Thursday, August 23, 2012

PROGRESS



















The list seems endless and the trash pile keeps getting bigger and bigger but I see progress each day.  New siding up...old gutters down...garage repaired...house almost ready to paint.

The weather has cooled a bit but still sunny most days.  Seven more days till my studio goes up.  Nine more days till Nyna's wedding.

AT THE END OF THE DAY...summer isn't over yet...the best is yet to come...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

LITTLE STEPS

When I started this blog almost a year ago, I intended to post more often.  Funny how while life is happening I don't have as much time to write about it as I thought I would.

I love to write and I have lots of things I want to say but writing everyday is an acquired habit I haven't mastered yet...so I am going back to the beginning.

Before I started this blog I did a trial run on facebook by posting a small paragraph each day with a picture or two, just small everyday things that were going on in my life, things I observed or was thinking about.

I probably still won't post every day but I'll try to write more often because maybe with enough practice I can get all the words and stories out of my head and

AT THE END OF THE DAY...I am an..."Optimist:  someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault~

Monday, August 13, 2012

NOT RETIRED FROM LIFE

Summer weather has set in and we are settling into retirement.  We have no huge plans this year...just getting some things done around the house and yard that have been put off for too long and a trip to the beach later in the year.

That doesn't mean nothing has been happening.  Our days are full to overflowing.

Dave is busy catching up with repairs in preparation for painting  the house and garage and putting in new gutters before winter.  I have been taking care of some neglected health problems before they turn into major events.  Of course watching the beautiful Alyson Rae grow more wonderful each day has become my favorite retirement pastime.

And last but not least...one of the most exciting things going on this summer is clearing a spot in the backyard to have my art studio built. 

AT THE END OF THE DAY...dreams really do come true...

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

NO MORE RECREATIONAL SHOPPING

I hate to shop.  I know that sounds un-American but it's true...I hate to shop.  It's time consuming, exhausting, and frustrating. 

The thing is, I really have more or less everything I need...my problem is I can never find it when I need it.

So when I spend half a morning trying to find supplies, which are scattered all over the house, to set up for a day of making art or some other activity, I know, although I have spent the last few years trying to get rid of the clutter that resulted from shopping as recreation, I still have too much junk.

I am cleaning and sorting and boxing and tossing again, but this time I have a goal...my hubby is going to build me a studio...and I want to be ready to move in the day it's finished.

AT THE END OF THE DAY...

do i keep it or weep for it
box it or toss it
where do i put it out of my way
why do i want it
when do i use it
why do i buy more day after day

the closets and cupboards
spew junk in a tumble
each time they are opened to put stuff away
i push and i shove and i
stack and i shuffle
i balance commanding "sit now and stay"

days weeks or months later
when i have spent hours
searching for something i know that i own
i realize it's time
to end the confusion
to clear out the jumble and reclaim my home


Thursday, June 28, 2012

ART IN THE STORM







 4th of July is just around the corner, which in this part of the country means our summer weather should show up soon.  

With the year half over I find my decision to make family my priority for awhile the right one for me, although I have a ways to go to reach all the goals I set for myself. 

But as I finish putting away everything from Art At The Barn, the only art show I allowed myself this year, I am thinking I may need to add a bit more art into the rest of my 'family year'.

In 2006 Art In The Barn (now called Art AT The Barn because the barn came down in a heavy snow several years ago) was my very first experience being in an art event.  I have participated every year since.  The weather can be unreliable in June around here so we are used to expecting almost anything during the show.  This year, however, it was not 'anything' it was 'everything'... to the max...thunder, lightening, wind, hail and rain...hitting hard, fast, and all within the blink of an eye. 

Everyone helped wherever they could with whatever they could, to cover art, zip up and hold down canopies, and during the aftermath help clean up broken glass, soggy art, and share dry clothes and blankets...then showed up the next day despite having to close up early on Saturday because of the storm.

I've missed the fun and camaraderie that comes from being part of a group of people that loves doing art as much as I do and although I can't jump back in with both feet this year I think I will add a bit more to my schedule.  After all, my muse runs with this bunch and 

AT THE END OF THE DAY......it's where I find her when we both need a break from newly 'retired' husband.